know but not enought
by bice94
Summary: When he designed the plan to defeat Slade, his brain had analyzed the issue with detachment.. post 2x23


I'm sorry for the grammar errors, I hope that this work may like you anyway. Please, reviw and let me know what you think about that. Thank you and good read.:)

When he designed the plan to defeat Slade, his brain had analyzed the issue with detachment, like a machine programmed to collect moments of crisis. Oliver knew the risks and knew exactly how bad things could have gone, putting Felicity in the Slade's hands.

This, however, had not stopped him. He couldn't stop it or all would been just destroyed. His city, Felicity, his sister, Diggle, Roy, Laurel, Sarah and all those hundreds of people who couldn't give a face. Everything would have crumbled in his hands.

So he brought that woman so bright and seemingly fragile in what remained of his home. It was dark and, although he was now completely empty, it seemed stuffy.

Oliver knew that Felicity wouldn't understand why they were there, at least not from the start. He hadn't had the courage to speak to her, but she was smart, damn smart and would come to understand his plan.

What he didn't know was the despair that he would try when those three words tumbled out of his mouth and Felicity's eyes widened. He saw surprise, confusion, and above all hope mingled with disbelief. That fire that he had often glimpsed in her irises, became in that instant too powerful, too hot. Simply too. Seeing her, there, He would only have wanted to go back, but couldn't do it. Thus inspired, trying to bring back the air in his lungs, and he slid the syringe into the small hand of Felicity.

He remembered how her skin looked cold. He noticed the change in her face and understanding across her features with ferocity. He saw her mouth slightly open and a flash of panic flashed in her eyes. Didn't fail even the sadness and guilt. Against herself.

Oliver had wanted to apologize, but he didn't. He gave her, however, the chance to draw back, but he knew that she wouldn't accept. He knew enough her to know that she wouldn't abandoned him. He gave her a small smile, hoping that this time he would be able to obtain his pardon. He turned quickly and left her there, feeling every cell of his body in protest at what he had just done. He felt the Felicity's gaze on himself and, just before closing the door behind him, a strangled sob reached his ears.

Oliver had expected many things, but not the pain that spread in his chest at that moment.

What followed was a blur. When the call came from Slade, Oliver was gone, replaced by the warrior who had managed to survive for years. No emotion was etched in his face, not when he saw Felicity pressed against the Slade's body, not recorded when Laurel behind her.

His partner didn't disappoint him. Felicity remained strong, despite the fear was etched on her face. She did what Oliver had asked, without hesitation, without the slightest doubt that he would protect her. Despite all.

When it was over and went to Lian Yu, Oliver's brain registered that it was over. He came to terms with what had happened in recent weeks, came to terms with the choice he had made with the not kill Slade. For the first time, Oliver felt for a second what Felicity had said to him several times. A hero.

He closed the prison's door and hoped that it closed also with a part of his past that continued to haunt him. He saw his friends on the beach.

Diggle was next to Felicity with an almost protective of her and, at that time, Oliver realized that, in broad terms, the former military knew what happened in that house.

The shoulders of women, however, were slightly curved. Her colors, however, were still twinkling and were in contrast with the dark and painful memories that Oliver had of that island.

When he reached them, Diggle left them alone. He sas giving him a chance to fix things. Oliver didn't take it. He let Felicity spoke. He loved when the flow of words came to her, and he couldn't suppress a slight smile. He saw the weariness and sadness in every word, in every gesture. Yet she continued to give him a way out. She had given him the opportunity to give an explanation, maybe even one of those stupid lies to which she was accustomed. He didn't.

Felicity smiled wearily and adapted to what Oliver was willing to give her.

The days followed one another rapidly.

The Thea's disappearance hovered over each of them as a heavy burden, destabilizing and Roy Oliver. Diggle was still trying to deal with the news of fatherhood, Detective Lance began to recover and Laurel sought her place in the team Arrow and again in the Oliver's life.

Felicity on the other hand began to rebuild her home, she began work on the new den and looked for a solution to recover the Oliver's company. She found a job in a computer company.

A still unstable normality settled for each of them, despite the scars remain there, just beneath the surface. Diggle was the first to notice that something was wrong with Felicity.

She was still herself, the wandering girl IT, the light of that group. Yet she seemed a bit faded, lost, completely disoriented. He also noticed the awkwardness between her and Oliver. He felt an hardly containable desire to smash the man's face.

She had spent all his time in the new or den, or work, or to help Oliver. Even helping to rebuild the city. Diggle immediately understood what she was doing.

She was hectic in everything she did and the former military guessed that she was doing it to not let her brain to stop. It returned there, in the evening. She carried her body to exhaustion to get to sleep. He hoped only that Felicity is not pushed too far. She couldn't escape from herself, and sooner or later she would have to deal with that night.

When he designed the plan to defeat Slade, Oliver had included every possible material risk, but had left out a variable with an immeasurable destructive power.

He had neglected the emotional consequences that his choice would bring. He didn't see it right away, but it was soon evident. Felicity was getting tired, her eyes were perpetually vigilant, her posture tense. He had seen bouncing from side to side without truce, but mostly he recorded distrust written in large letters on her face whenever he happened to accidentally touch her.

There, on the island, Felicity had given him a way out, but that didn't mean that she had also given her forgiveness.

Felicity was slowly destroying herselves, despite not realizing it.

The one where the man had no doubt that it wouldn't permit her. One evening, he showed up at her house, finding Felicity probably in the middle of a session of cleaning. Oliver didn't listen to her protests when dragged out of her apartment and forced her into the car.

She asked for an explanation, but didn't receive any. The silence that established later seemed to make Felicity quite restless.

As if her brain did too much noise.

Oliver saw her reach out and lift up slightly on the radio.

Almost an hour later, they arrived at their destination. It was exactly in the middle of nowhere. It was a big field, completely dark and empty. The scent of grass invaded their senses immediately. The wind that touched their skins looked like a mother's caress and the only sound was that of their steps.

Felicity froze, unable to understand. Oliver grabbed her hand and forced her to advance.

He made her lie down, despite the indignation's howls of the woman who still didn't understand.

He told her to look at the sky. Felicity looked at him as if he were crazy, but ended up listening to him. She looked up and found herself unable to speak. Too rarely in her life, Felicity had paid attention to the stars.

Yet they were a sight so wonderful to leave you breathless. The sky was dark, lit only by those bright spots, scattered apparently at random. They were chaotic, but absolutely perfect. Their light was brilliant, despite being so far away. Felicity felt enveloped by a sense of smallness that frightened her. The silence began to suffocate her and she felt an immediate desire to get out of there. She turned angrily towards Oliver and asked him why he had brought her here.

The man sighed and slowly stroked his cheek. He asked her if she had been crying, after that night.

The woman's eyes widened and almost slapped him. She ordered him to bring her home. She was about to get up, but Oliver stopped her. "You can't avoid it forever, Felicity. You can rebuild the nest, your home, my business. You can look for Thea and a criminal after another. You can't sleep for a while, but sooner or later you will have to deal with your anger, your pain and fear. You can get away with many things in life, but never by yourself. "

A surge of anger went through the woman's body and found herself shouting. Shouting that it wasn't his right to tell her how to handle the situation, shouting that she wasn't running away, screaming that she would be strong enough.

The outburst left her gasping and, without realizing it, a tear came out of her eyes. One after the other. The sobs began to shake her body and Oliver approached and wrapped her to himself. Pressed against him, she seemed so fragile, so scared. Her cry was desperate. She was crying for herself, for Oliver, for Thea, for Diggle, Roy, Laurel, Sara, for the detective, crying for Slade, because in his madness, she had recognized the pain.

Oliver found himself unable to breathe hit by the violence of her outburst. He dipped his hands in her hair and spoke softly in her ear. Apologizing once for every tears.

The Oliver's brain foresaw many things, but not as much as the "I love you", said in a sad, dark, almost unwittingly house, could be so truthful.


End file.
